Depression etc.

Everyone gets depressed from time to time, I think. I have struggled with it myself. I’ll be honest, it looked to me when I was at the bottom of that hole that I would never be able to climb my way out of it, but I did, mostly by my fingernails.

My really good friend Sephyroth is
struggling with depression at the moment.

I’m a bit upset because some scambaiters have treated this friend of mine badly. You should be ashamed of yourselves for how you treated this very good friend of mine. Someone who has always been there – not just for me, but for *anyone* who needed help and asked for it. Someone who now does not do a lot of the stuff he could do simply because you have shown him time and time and TIME again that you do not appreciate it. That you just treat him like my “lapdog”.

Sephy, I know this is not going to be easy but I am here for you and you will come out the other side of this. I am so proud of you for standing up and admitting when something is wrong, and now moving forward to working on a solution. It might not happen overnight, but it will happen.

Guys, you may not know this, but Sephy is the person I turn to when I need help. It might be something as simple as searching for something on the internet (which I am terrible at but thanks to his help am improving) or something as complicated as helping me organise a spreadsheet to keep track of which lad I am baiting with which address from which country. He is also an incredibly talented baiter, and is currently baiting a couple of lads as my character tyr@ and I am just doing the voices on the phone calls.

When you and I work together Sephy, lads suffer. That’s what it is all about, working together. The fucknuts seem to have forgotten that. They would not know how to work together if they found themselves all tied together in a bag at the bottom of a swimming pool, and they would all drown. You and I wouldn’t mate. ;) We’d work to find a way out, together. Just like we will find a way to dig you out of this depression.

Thank you so much for always being there to help me. You don’t know how much I appreciate it. And I believe you really are an Aussie on the inside – being there for your mates is something this country is based on.

depression, people talking about you, scambaiting

W00t!

Rock star : Supernova the band is coming to Australia! In March next year. And the ticketing website which is selling the tickets is currently not working so I can’t even find out how much it is or even put a link here to it. grrr. Apparently Toby Rand and Juke Kartel will be the support act which is fantastic news. I definately want to go. ;)

Today we went shopping, we did not go to see the movie I wanted to see because my other half is a pain in the ass about movies, he’s a right snob about what he will and won’t go to see. But he’s happy to watch those silly anime cartoons for hours on end! I’ll probably end up going to see it on my own :(

Then we cooked dinner for my parents, a yummy Jamie Oliver recipe. Except I just use normal mushrooms, remove the thyme and add bacon. I also use half a cup of wine and half a cup of water otherwise the wine can be a little bit much. I’ve tried a few of his recipes and they always work out well.

I have an admission to make to you all. I am somewhat of a germophobe. Not to the point where it’s keeping me from going anywhere, but at times I think I can see there from here.

The two biggest issues I have are food preparation and door handles. I don’t like touching door handles and (this is hard to say) if it is somewhere really germy I sometimes open them with my jacket sleeve instead of my hand. Especially if I’ve just washed them in a public bathroom.

With food prep I absolutely hate tea towels and and refuse to have them in my kitchen at all – paper towel is your friend, I find. I don’t like using sponges and try to avoid them where I can and certainly would never use one to wipe a bench top. I also tend to wash my hands a lot in between handling different foods. It’s probably excessive but we all have to find a way to live with our little insanities, right?

But to a germophobe, my mother’s kitchen is an absolute nightmare. Tea towels! Sponges used all over the place! Dishes not perfectly clean even though she has a brilliant dishwasher, she throws the dishes in there with chunks of food still on them (ugh! I can’t watch her do this, I have to walk away) and no matter how good a dishwasher is there’s only so much it can do.

When I openly show how this situation makes me feel, it makes her mad. She’s like “Well, you managed to grow up in a house where the kitchen was this way” – what she is forgetting is that often when she had “cleaned” the kitchen I would sneak in there when she wasn’t looking and do it again to my level of clean-ness. And as soon as I moved out of home, I was insanely strict about the kitchen must be clean before *and* after you cook in it.

Today she had to go to the dentist and she wasn’t feeling well, when we dropped in before we went shopping she was having a nap. This was a great excuse for me to come back here with all the shopping, cut everything up on my clean chopping boards and do things my way, and then put it all into little tupperware containers, and take it over there mostly done. What a great idea, I never thought of it before but I will be doing that again.

Here’s an example of an argument we always have – about mushrooms.

Mum sees me rinsing the mushrooms off in the sink

Mum – “Why do you need to rinse them, they’ve been washed already at the supermarket”

Me – “You see all these little black spots of dirt? You know what that is? They grow these things in manure, you know, that’s what that is, and I really would rather not eat shit if I can help it”

Mum – “I don’t know why you have to be so picky about everything”

Me – “I’m not picky about everything. I’m picky about this. “

Mum – “I never did this when you were growing up. You ate them like that all the time”

Or the other night –

My other half was about to cut up onions for hamburgers –
Me – “Stop, that knife is filthy!”

Mum – “I just used it to cut the skin off the onion, it’s only onion on there”

Me – “No it’s not, it is something dried on from the dishwasher”

(the other half walks to the sink and starts cleaning the knife)

Mum – “You’re being ridiculous”

Me – “I’m not being ridiculous, I just want to have things cut up with a clean knife, that’s not too much to ask”

(the other half returns and it is still there)

Me – “That’s not clean, it’s still there!”

(the other half starts scraping it off with a knife”

Mum – “, That knife is perfectly clean”

Dad – “I don’t think it is, he’s trying to scrape it clean with another knife and it’s still not coming off”

Mum – “Just use another one”

The other half got it clean and washed it again but in the meantime she’s handed him another filthy one! I quietly say to him – use the one you just cleaned.

She thinks I’m too fussy about it but then again, I have to live with *her* insanities so she should live with mine! What’s her insanity?

When shopping and you make a purchase, you must take that purchase out to the car before entering another shop. And of course she’s parked in the furthest park from the supermarket, so you have to walk a kilometre anytime you buy something.

I do not complain about this. I just recognise that she has an issue with that, and deal with it. It’s annoying, don’t get me wrong! I mean the bag has the receipt in it, and even if the other shop does not sell that product, there’s no talking her out of this. It just is.

cooking, family, germophobe

No pool table. :(

We ordered a pool table about two months ago. It was ready last Wednesday and when the other half spoke to them they said it would be delivered today. On Friday the other half realised that today was actually a public holiday and when he got home he asked me if they had called to confirm the delivery, which they had not, but when he had spoken to him early last week they had assured him it would be delivered today.

Well guess what, it’s 10pm, no sight of any pool table, and no phone call either. I can’t even call and abuse them Butch Driveshaft (or Tyra) style tomorrow because nobody at work knows this pool table is coming yet, and I am supposed to be going to work tomorrow.

I feel somewhat ok but more like I have a headcold now which is most irritating to me. I hate colds! Hopefully I will be ok to go tomorrow otherwise I will have to go back to the doctor. My throat still hurts and I keep waking me up in the middle of the night having a coughing fit. :(

At just after 6 am this morning my throat was so sore, I got up and drank a drink that I had frozen the night before and then taken out of the freezer. It was icy and sort of slushy and it numbed my throat beautifully. I have another one in the fridge, I’m going to get to it soon.. :)

health, Home

Evil Tonsils

I am still sick. Actually I feel worse now than I have over the past few days, evil temperature, nasty headache and my throat, it feels like it is full of gravel. I had a look at my tonsils and they are not a pretty sight, I can’t believe how bad this is. I have never had tonsilitis like this before in my life. Normally with colds and flu I get the bad ears, which makes me really dizzy and stuff – not nice, but it doesn’t usually last too long and my old doctor (not cute but very funny man) put me onto these little tablets that always fix it fast. I don’t know what to do with this and my neck is still all swollen and puffy.

I didn’t get much sleep last night and I know I kept the other half awake coughing and stuff. I think tonight I should sleep in my recliner chair but he will not be happy if I do that. I don’t even know if my doctor is there tomorrow but if it is this bad in the morning I will have to go back, or go to the hospital *gasp*.

I have to admit the hospital here is somewhat evil and I’d prefer to get a knife and chop out my tonsils in my own kitchen, at least I would know it was clean. I don’t know why but that place rings all the germophobe alarm bells in my head. I’ll be honest, I have a lot of those germophobe alarm bells, so it’s really noisy when I go there.. ;)

The thing about the cute doctor. In the country there’s not many doctors and I was worried I wouldn’t be able to get in to see one at all, but lucky for me they opened this new branch of an old clinic and there’s two new doctors there. I got in right away a few months back and ever since I have been going to see the same guy – better than the slutty hairdressers, yes!

The only problem is, he is so darned cute I can’t look at him. Well, I can but I don’t make a lot of sense when I do, so I just don’t. Plus he has an accent – it might be German, it’s from that area of the world anyway. I love an accent! This is just a complete nightmare. Why couldn’t I have got a funny not cute doctor like I had before? Or even a female doctor? I dont even know if women are still going to medical schools anymore. They should, because cute guys like my doctor go there, but its been a long time since I went to a medical clinic that had a female doctor at all.

health

Riddle me this, Batman.

Do people on speed have clear sinuses? DO THEY? I want to KNOW because if they do maybe I should start taking it.

This post may contain some swearing. I’m in a bit of a bad mood. Had a bad day at work (haha that’s almost funny, like there is ever a good one when the staff ignore the customers because their conversations about SHYTE are much more important) in fact it was so bad that at 1pm I decided to grab the car keys and get out of the building for a little bit. I had to go to the chemist to get some drugs – it’s hayfever season. By the time I get to the chemist, I’m feeling a little happier. That’s not going to last long. :(

Only one thing works for my sinuses, and that is pseudoephedrine – hereafter referred to as PE because that is a bloody long word. I have tried every other option. Believe me, I have. Now due to some fuckwits making speed out of PE or some such crap – they brought in new laws this year where you have to show your license and they keep records of you buying anything with PE in it. Plus, they only give you a *tiny* supply – enough for three days. So you have to keep going back to get more.

I bought some from this same chemist a couple of weeks ago. I don’t usually go to that chemist but it was closer so I did go back there this time. Feeling like some kind of criminal simply because I WANT TO BE ABLE TO FUCKING BREATHE FOR CHRISTS SAKE! I go in to get the drugs, hand over the license, wait for her to check with the pharmacist. The pharmacist comes over to me and says “You bought some of these a couple of weeks ago according to our records, and colds and flu don’t normally last that long”.

I was simply STUNNED. Plus, I was already in a really bad mood, so the chances of this woman having her head bitten off were high. But no, I tried to remain polite, and I said, actually I am using them for hayfever. She said “Have you tried other things” and at this point, I am ready to wig out like the chick from Misery and scream OF COURSE I FUCKING WELL HAVE, DO YOU THINK I ENJOY HAVING TO FIND A CHEMIST EVERY THREE FREAKING DAYS TO BUY SOME MORE OF THESE DRUGS? But no, once again I remain polite, and say yes, actually I have tried all the other options including hayfever injections from my doctor, this is the only thing that works.

I will not ever go back to that chemist. I will go to the one I know isn’t going to ask me stupid shit like that. I should have remained loyal in the first place.

So by the time I got back to work, I was really not in the mood for an afternoon of staff standing around chatting. Of course they did, and of course as usual I couldn’t do anything about it. I’m so over this already. I’m seriously thinking about quitting completely.

From Wikipedia –

Illicit diversion of pseudoephedrine in Australia has caused significant changes to the way pseudoephedrine products are regulated. As of 2006, all products containing pseudoephedrine have been rescheduled as “Pharmacist Only Medicines” (Schedule 3). As a result, a pharmacist must be directly involved in every transaction involving the sale of pseudoephedrine to members of the public, and such medicines will be kept behind the counter, away from public access. Such measures are designed to ensure that the medicines are needed for a legitimate purpose. Pharmacists are also required to seek identification from potential purchasers, and maintain a record of each transaction. Certain preparations containing significantly high amounts of pseudoephedrine are further restricted as “Prescription Only Medicines” (Schedule 4).

drugs, politics, Sinus

Holy cow.

Well, a small miscalculation on my other half’s part. Thailand is actually three hours behind our time zone – not half an hour!

Had I known this earlier today, it would have eliminated the.. well let’s be honest.. panic.. when I did not hear from him around the time I was expecting. I’ve just had a funny feeling about this trip from the start, but when it got to 2pm and I was expecting him to land around 10:45am Thailand time, which would have meant hearing from him by say noon at the latest.

I did not realise just how anxious I was until he finally sms’d me. If I hadn’t bitten off all my fingernails by 1pm I would have had crescent shaped marks in my palms.. so it’s a good thing I chewed them all off, right? ;)

fears, The Other Half, travel