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About Letting it go

10 Comments Posted on by Sephyroth

Many of you have seen or commented on a recent post here – Letting Go.., about one of Snoskred’s friends who has been battling with depression for a long time. Well, I am that friend. In fact, I have been battling it for longer than eight months. It’s only been in this time that we have been working on getting myself sorted out.

Up until now, it’s been a lot of going through the motions, ultimately leading me back to where I started. I’d even learned the “right” things to say to appease her and make it look like things were going well. Of course, that led to her having false hope in me, and ultimately to the point where I needed to be shocked into action. I needed a major wake-up call.

That call finally came on Tuesday, when a very bleak picture of my world was presented – one where I’d be on my own, with nobody caring about me and about turning my life around. It would be hell on earth for me. From there, I had two options – 1) wake up and start to act on making myself better, or 2) ignore it and go forth on my own, with no support. After we finished our discussion, I went for a walk and then posted about my commitment to change.

Included in that post was something that I hadn’t done before – make myself accountable for my actions. I also posted a comment on Craig Harper’s blog about my commitment to change. If you’re not reading his blog, you really should – it’s a great source of information about how to go about improving yourself.

After that, I then read the Letting Go post over here. I knew right away that it was about me, and essentially reinforced that I had to make the choice – shape up or ship out. It sounds harsh to think of it that way, but that is what it is. I’ve used up my chances, and now it’s time to prove myself. It’s making the small steps that lead to big things. It’s committing myself to doing the things that we had discussed all the way back in November – such as seeking out professional help. It’s about breaking the cycle of yes, ok, I’ll do that, wait a couple of months without doing anything, back into the hole.

As Snos said in her comment that she made today – this post was the catalyst. I’ve gone to see a doctor and have received an unofficial diagnosis of dysthymia – a mild form of depression – one that, without treatment, can last for a very long time. I received some samples of an antidepressant and start taking one a day from tomorrow. I was also told to get a consultation with a counselor to start with counseling appointments.

It’s definitely a start, but it’s a long road and I know that there will be ups and downs. I need to keep myself honest and that starts with myself. I mentioned yesterday the Post-It® notes that have begun to surround my monitor. One of them says “I will hold myself accountable for following my plans”. Part of that is posting a photo from when I go out to walk; it’s also keeping you all updated on my progress via my weekly updates. I’d really appreciate it if you all would help me out with the accountability – it doesn’t have to be constant, but the odd reminder will not hurt. :)

Lastly, this wouldn’t have happened if Snos didn’t care about me – she could have said “Fine, you’re on your own” and let me spiral. However, it is like she said in one of her comments – we are there for each other – it’s not always emotional support – most of the time it’s just to shoot the breeze and share what’s going on with our lives, or to solve a problem that one of us is having with a program or site. Thanks for letting me post this over here :)

I am posting this here, and also at Sephy’s Platzish, my blog.

Sephy

depression, moving forward, Sephyroth

The Only Thing Stopping You..

3 Comments Posted on by Snoskred

butterfly
My Grandfather started a business in his shed many years ago, not long after the 2nd World War. By the time I was 13, it had built into a successful business with 5 stores. My Dad was the general manager. Of course I spent a lot of spare time at the stores, and in school holidays would go to work with my Mum, who was the courier for the company and took stock from the central warehouse to the stores.

Coming up to Christmas that year, I begged to be allowed to work in one of the stores. I *said* I would wrap Christmas presents, but I had a secret hidden desire that nobody knew about. My parents finally agreed to me working in the main branch, where my Dad was, so he could keep an eye on me. On the very first day, he had a meeting and left the store shortly after it opened. By the time he got back, I had sold $500 worth of small appliances. I’d written down each item I sold on a little piece of card. There were 28 of them. Dad hit the roof! I was supposed to be wrapping presents, not selling things.

I knew then that I was born to be a salesperson, and this was just second nature to me, and I explained it to him, and the next day there was no more talk of wrapping things, I got out there on the floor and sold stuff all day. A passion was born, and I was hooked.

I learned a lot from my Dad. He was the best salesperson I ever knew, but he was also one with plenty of bad habits, all of which I picked up. The good did outweigh the bad and I survived for years on what he’d taught me, working in several of the family’s stores. There was no mention of training, because I was doing just fine.

There came a point where I had to go out on my own. If you can sell, you can work pretty much anywhere, but I was drawn to the same things the rest of my family was. Electronics. I went out into the real world to discover that the place my parents had owned was unique in terms of looking after your staff, being as loyal to them as they were to you. In the real world, someone would have a knife in your back while smiling to your face.

I’ve done a lot of training over the years now. You can approach training from several angles but the two most common are – this is a waste of my time and I’m not going to get anything out of this so I’m going in with closed ears – or – I’m willing to listen and try new things out to see if they work for me. I always chose the second path. I have seen many people choose the first and I always find it hilarious when they get left behind because everyone else in the store is trying the new stuff and it WORKS.

One thing salespeople hate to do is “ask for the sale”. It’s something I have struggled with all my life and it really is ridiculous. Imagine for a moment that you were the customer, and I was serving you. You wanted a washing machine. During the time we spend together, I would ask you a number of questions. It’s sort of like a funnel. We salespeople ask all the questions, we listen to the answers, and then we think about what product is best going to suit you – and that is what pops out at the end of the funnel.

So by the time we get to asking for the sale, I probably would have asked things like –

– How often do you wash?
– What kind of washing machine do you have now?
– Have you been happy with that machine?
– What do you most like about that machine?
– Would you prefer a front or top load machine?

All those, and probably a bunch more. So a salesperson will have been asking questions for a good 15 minutes, then they show you the options you have. At the end of all that, many salespeople are too scared to ask the most important question, which is essentially do you want one? Though you have to find the right way of wording it.

I struggled against it like a fish trapped in a net. I would just rather not ask. I felt like if someone appreciated my service they would buy from me. Until one day I went to a training session and finally understood it when someone explained that I’d already asked them a lot of questions, what is the harm of one more? I just had to find a way of asking the question that I was comfortable with. And I did, and my sales figures went up and up.

Sometimes it is about someone presenting it to you in the right way.

Sales is a bit like sport, many people compare it to that and they are right to do so. You can not improve unless you are willing to try new things, experiment. And one of the things so important to a sports team is to think positive. Imagine if you went out onto the field thinking “I can’t win this game”. Imagine if when you lost you took it very personally and that negative self talk starts up in your head. “I’m no good at this game. I lost last week, and I’ll lose this week. I’ll always lose. I’m a loser”. You’re defeated before you even walk out onto the field.

This quote from Arthur Golden’s “Memoirs of a Geisha” explains my philosophy on negative thoughts in your head..

“I made up my mind to be like the fisherman who hour after hour scoops out fish with his net. Whenever thoughts of the Chairman drifted up from within me, I would scoop them out, and scoop them out again, and again, until none of them were left.”

You have to scoop those negative thoughts out, or else you end up dwelling on them. But you have to replace them with something, too. My preference is to replace them with a positive thought.

So, in light of this, each day from now on I will be posting a “thought for today” as well as my usual blog post. They might come from the cards I use here, they might be quotes from books or other places. I hope you might find them useful. If any of them really speak to you or you feel like you want to work on that thought, it might be an idea to write them down and put them in front of your computer screen.

If you have any thoughts to put forward, just email them to me.. ;)

family, work

I may have created a monster..

4 Comments Posted on by Snoskred

The Other Half is truly one of the funniest men I know. Funny is a major point on my list of things a man must be in order for me to be attracted.. Some women would be attracted to this –

men

or maybe something like this –

men2

but me, I don’t mind if a man looks like this –

perfect

or even this –

seduction

as long as he can make me laugh.

The guy in the above “tough love” picture actually looks a little like my other half. ;) and thankfully the other half does not read this blog. At least he tells me he does not.. ;) He knows I think that guy looks like him – it’s actually Mick Molloy who is a comedian here in Australia, and that picture was on a radio station poster which was all over the place a while back.

Like I say, the other half was already a very funny guy, but one year in the days before you could buy it on DVD the cable tv channel here ran a marathon of Seinfeld episodes, in order. I taped the whole thing. The marathon lasted four days. I’d never really watched Seinfeld much other than caught the odd episode, but when you watch it IN ORDER it is a lot funnier than the way a lot of the TV shows played it.

The reason I taped it was the Other Half and I often could not agree on what to watch while we eat dinner. Dinner time was one of the rare times we actually watched TV, and we could sit there and argue about what we should watch until dinner went cold. Movies were too long. We didn’t have DVD’s back then. Often there would be nothing decent on the TV at dinner time. He didn’t mind Seinfeld, I was willing to give it a try, and the episodes lasted for 22 minutes, just perfect for eating dinner. We became real fans of the show, and it somehow made the other half even more funny than he’d been previously. He can take any topic and go all Jerry about it.

I can’t really give you any examples of his funniness here, because when I write them down they don’t seem so funny. Let me simply say that not one day goes by where The Other Half does not have me laughing so hard I have to sit down before I fall down.

funny, The Other Half

Shameless self-promotion

2 Comments Posted on by Sephyroth

Don’t worry, I’ve been given permission to do this. ;)

You may have seen a mention here about a threatening email that was sent to one of my scambaiting characters recently. I’ve been communicating (as that character) with the scammer, and it is a great example of how a scammer can try to manipulate a victim into doing whatever they want done – almost all of the time it is money.

You can check out the letters back and forth over at my blog.

Sephyroth

Adventures in Hair Dying.

3 Comments Posted on by Snoskred

I’m running way behind on everything today. :( There was so much on my to do list, and so little time. One thing that absolutely had to get done was a hair dying – it was of utmost importance because I don’t dye it the same color as my natural hair and there was a fair chunk of roots showing.

I’ve dyed my hair since I was probably 15 or so, back then it was never permanent colors because Mum wouldn’t allow that, it was only rinses that lasted a few washes. I suppose she was scared I would dye it pink or something. I did once manage to dye it green but that was not intentional. My thanks to the “state the bleeding obvious” beeyotch in high school who said, in front of a bunch of people, hey, your hair is green. I can’t remember her name but she had a funny eye and I’ve never forgiven her for saying it, and I’ve never forgiven myself for not bitchily shooting back a zinger of massive proportions, all of which came to me long after she said it. ;)

I had actually been trying to dye it black, but it didn’t work out because I had been secretly using hair lightener to make it a little blonde. Tip to new players – you cannot go from blonde to black without going to red in the middle, or else you will get green.

But these days, The Other Half dyes my hair for me. It’s good because he is anal retentive and obsessive compulsive, so the color always turns out a lot better than a hairdresser who’s busy reading the magazine you’re reading over your shoulder while applying large globs of goo.

So about an hour ago, standing in a shower that looked like a shark attacked me in it, with red hair dye splotched all over the place, I thought heck, I haven’t blogged today. This is bad. And it really looks like I’ve been attacked by a shark in here. Tip for people who have not dyed their hair at home – it’s all nice and pretty in the salon when all the dye goes down the sink behind you and you can’t see it. It’s not so pretty in your own shower. :) However, it is easy to rinse off the walls, so not to worry.

Then I thought, is this environmentally unfriendly? Probably it is, considering the fumes from the hair dye would be enough to send you into space for a few days.

All these things add up to me thinking, maybe I should go back to having it done at the salon. But, it is so much cheaper to do it at home, and the color turns out great, and The Other Half really loves inflicting pain on me trying to rub off all the “oops” where he smudged it on my neck. He also has a great time wrapping my head in gladwrap once he’s finished the dying.

So, note this is the closest you’ll get to seeing any part of me here on the blog – here’s my hair.. ;)

redhair_370x600

redhair1_388x600

We had a heck of a lot of rain today, my little rain guage tells me it’s over 70mm in our own backyard. This means the lawn looks like a swimming pool, and the rubbish bin is now full of water. But rain is good and much appreciated. I just wish it was in places like Goulburn where they’re having a bad drought.

So now, I have to get some packing done because I have not even started yet, and then I have to get to bed pretty much on time because tomorrow I have chores and shopping and I have to get stuff ready to go. At least all the washing is done, and the Kitties are having a mutiny because I washed their favourite rugs.

If I get a chance before I go, and I should because I will make the time to do it (it might mean a chore doesn’t get done, but I can live with that) I want to blog about the kitties, they’re doing some strange things lately.. ;)

hairdresser, The Other Half

I’m a bad daughter.

1 Comment Posted on by Snoskred

Yes, the final in the series of internet security will turn up sometime this week. I’m sorry but it’s been a crazy weekend in many ways. Including my parents buying new tv sets and cabinets and other oddness.

So when I was over there yesterday, I set some reminders on the Austar box for shows that would be on while I was there. For those from overseas, this is pay tv. You can basically go ahead a day or more and choose programs and when the programs are on it pops up a little reminder.

Mum complained about the little popups, saying “how many did you set?” Well at the time only two, but when she went back to the kitchen I proceeded to set popups for almost every show that was on over the next 2 days. She’s still getting them now, more than likely cursing my name.

Especially the ones I set for desperate housewives, a show she utterly despises. I set reminders for it on the normal channel as well as the +2 channel, so there were at least 4 for that show. ;)

About Snoskred, Bad Snoskred, family

Opinions Needed

4 Comments Posted on by Snoskred

paint2007

The above is a painting for my Nephew. It is metallic red, not pink as it seems in this photo. He chose the color the last time I saw him, and the rest has been my invention. The stencil is an African art symbol –

DENKYEM = “crocodile” = symbol of adaptability
The crocodile lives in the water, yet breathes the air, demonstrating an ability to adapt to circumstances.

And the dots (which are silver) are inspired by some Aboriginal Art, which I’ve got in my head recently. I love dot paintings.

The question is, do I put more dots on the painting to make it look more like the one below – as in fill in the space between the Denkyem and the border with more dots? Not all silver ones because that would be too much, but maybe graduating shades of silver to white, or silver to black? Can you let me know what you think in the comments?

I really love how it looks now but I think more dots could work really well too.

arty

family, Snoskred Art

Elvis has left the building

4 Comments Posted on by Snoskred

Last weekend when we went to our usual Saturday Chinese, there were a lot of cars in the carpark. This was unexpected as school holidays had just ended. When we walked in to the club, we were surprised to find what seemed like a function going on. Loads of people eating prawns, and some bloke on the stage singing, he had a lovely sequinned red shirt on.

On closer inspection it seemed that this was actually Neil Diamond. Mother and I spent some time arguing as to whether it was the real Neil Diamond or some kind of tribute show. The guy was so Neil Diamond like, he really sounded like him. Lucky for us we had a table in the Chinese where we could watch the whole show – for free, but we had to pay for our own prawns. ;) Probably those people out there had paid bucketloads of money to see this show!

He played many Neil Diamond songs and we were much entertained, much swaying in the seat went on. I was mesmerized by the sequinned red shirt and suggested to Dad the next time they are looking for a new uniform at work that a sequinned shirt could be a brilliant idea – how can you miss the salespeople if they’re all sparkly?

After about half an hour and our entrees, Neil left the stage to much applause. Once the Entrees were gone, Dad went out to play the pokies and returned with the news that Tom Jones was also going to be putting in an appearance. This sounded quite nice, so we waited.. and waited.. and suddenly Elvis showed up instead!

This led to discussion of the Elvis festival in Parkes, NSW. For those who don’t know, there’s a large dish at Parkes, it’s one of the things the town is famous for.

Parkes

The dish featured in a movie called, surprisingly, The Dish. But Parkes wants to be famous for more than that, so they created the Parkes Elvis Festival. Looking at the program they have combined The Dish with Elvis very nicely. I had heard that in Parkes they had up to 1,000 Elvis’s all in the same place at once and while watching this Elvis mentioned to the other half that maybe more Elvises would show up in the building we were in now, and he said no, we don’t have the dish here, that is what attracts them. :) Or something along those lines but whatever he said was so funny I completely lost the plot. Lucky I wasn’t eating or drinking at the time!

Elvis actually seemed to be Neil Diamond only with a different wig. He sang only two Elvis songs, which seemed like a bit of a waste to do the whole Elvis wig thing just for that. Then he vanished again, much to my dismay. We thought maybe Elvis needed to take a leak and that he hadn’t actually left the building at all, so for some minutes were watching to see if he returned. The other half hates Elvis. I don’t know why. I have asked. He can’t come up with a good answer.

Some time later, our meal arrived, and not long after that Tom Jones arrived. All Tom Jones songs seem to have sexual overtones, which is slightly not great but seemed to drive the elderly women out in the function quite crazy. I’m surprised underwear was not thrown. This Tom Jones looked awfully wrong in his wig, it just wasn’t right. Maybe that’s why the underwear wasn’t thrown.

We exited the building to the sounds of Delilah, or something like that. A happy though somewhat strange evening was had by all.

However, there has been one side effect. A Tom Jones version of “You can leave your hat on” has been in my head ever since. I am hopeful it will go away soon but I’ve tried playing other music and it hasn’t worked. :( Any advice?

family, music